What does a prayer warrior princess look like these days? Weary and stubborn. She's a bit mysterious, too.
It has been several months since I started this blog and then proceeded to not do something with it. I must admit I am disappointed in myself. It's not that I've lost the war or that I have turned in my sword. Rather it is just that I got derailed and have decided that one of the best ways to get back to winning the battles at hand is to address the fiercest battles.
One of the hardest battles I fight, and one that I like to participate in the most is the battle of writing. Writing is one of the most difficult and joyful tasks I've ever undertaken. I love to create something out of nothing with words, but the older I get, the longer I wield the pen, the harder the psychological warfare is with writing. As a young writer there were no voices that told me I could not create the worlds I saw, speak for the characters I knew, or plot the adventures I craved. I had no internal doubts. But the older I get the more I hear the "no, you can't"s whispering in my ear. The more I hold on to the dream of my novel being completed the more I come across obstacles that seek to prevent it.
It's a virtual mine field out there! Perhaps those fields were already planted with the dangers and I was just standing on the sidelines before. Maybe it is now that I am venturing out more regularly that I come across them more. Earlier this summer I came across my number one writing enemy, the insidious Fried Disk. For the umpteenth time, I lost data that I had not yet backed up. Fortunately I have been able to retrieve emails and hard copies that contain lost work. All that I have yet to locate is Chapter 10 (Ironically titled "Homework") and a portion of 11. I think I am winning that battle, but it sure would be nice if I could have it all back. And if I can discipline myself to finally back up my back ups.
Still, what to do about the lost Chapter 10 is part of the battle. What's the best strategy? I can write about it, search a few more emails for it, just rewrite it, or put it aside for later. I remember a good portion of it, but the thought of recreating it is disheartening. I'd like to move forward through chapter 15, where I last left off. Going back to rewrite that chapter and half seems like declaring "Retreat!" Looking through a few more emails might satisfy my curiosity-- it's possible I emailed it to a friend-- or at least shut that option out of my mind. That strategy, however, means delaying writing. Writers are writers because they write.
But right now the enemy is a tad ahead. I'm writing about writing. That's better than I was doing earlier today. Maybe tonight I will actually win the battle with the page and get a new chapter started, or uncover the lost one. That's my goal anyway.
Oh, and speaking of goals. My battle objective for this novel is to get the first draft completed by the end of the year. There. I wrote that. It's the first time I wrote that goal. May my words ring true. St. Francis de Sales, patron of writers, pray for me. St. Anthony, help me find my words.
