quote

"I'm still looking for rainbows while standing in the rain."

Saturday, January 14, 2012

Battles For The New Year

Many people start a new year with resolutions. I quit doing that years ago. This year I decided to deliberately engage in battles. Now, I’m not a violent woman but I do believe in declaring war on some things. What’s the point of sharpening one’s weapon, donning the armor, and practicing swordplay if one is not going to enter the theater of war?  All knights train hard with the anticipation of having to actually enter battle. So do prayer warrior princesses.

Like Daniel said in the movie “The Karate Kid”, we train so as not to fight. Being an experienced prayer warrior princess may mean that I am able to avoid many battles because of my training. There are physical, psychological and emotional battles that I have not had to engage in because I was sharp spiritually. Conducting oneself as a woman of grace who cultivates virtues and practices charity towards others does win many friends, but it doesn’t guarantee that everyone and everything cooperates with God’s plan for me. Bl. Mother Theresa was certainly a superior prayer warrior princess, but that didn’t mean that she never had battles to fight. People she was ministering to spit in her face. World leaders criticized her stance on abortion and contraception. She saw extreme poverty all around her every day. While most people would be quick to recognize her as one of the most loving women of our times, many people did not love her. Her spiritual battles were fierce.

So what makes engaging in battles (be they physical, psychological, emotional or spiritual) different than making resolutions or setting goals for the new year? As a prayer warrior princess I take the battles as they come to me; I don’t go looking for them. Believe me, there are plenty of battles wanting my attention. You could say that I am surrounded, kind of like the scene from “Lord of the Rings: Two Towers” where the Fellowship is surrounded by orcs with their backs to each other. Like them, I am puny in size and strength, but like them I am not alone. There are other prayer warriors that have my back. We never leave a man behind.

2012 has already launched a few attacks. I’m working on staving off the winter blues, so that means regular workouts at the gym. It’s certainly one area where the physical and spiritual battles hit me from both sides. It’s a spiritual and psychological battle to get me to the gym, and a physical battle to push through a reasonable workout that kicks the adrenaline and endorphins in gear, works the heart and still manages to avoid blisters, pulled muscles and injuries.

I’m looking for new work. What a battle that is! Mostly it is a battle to believe that God will show me what is the right thing to do. It’s about believing in myself and in Him. I don’t know why this has been so hard lately. The hardest part is letting go of the idea that I have to find a needle in a haystack. It’s not about me—I have to do my job, which is apply and put myself out there. But it really is all about Him putting things together. St. Joseph and St. Anthony coach me through this.

And then there is the financial battle. That’s basically a game I play of challenging myself to see how little money I can live on. It’s time to get leaner. St. Francis and Lady Poverty will help me out with this one.

Of course there is the battle with the apartment. It’s in a constant state of purge, and we have little skirmishes now and then. Admittedly, I could use some help on this.

And then the battle with the body, which is so tied to the soul: how to get enough sleep, eat more healthily, and not spend money I don’t have. It’s all tied together. If the body is the Temple of the Holy Spirit, as scripture tells us, then the Holy Spirit is my guide on this battlefront.

And of course there is the battle to write. Picking up the pen is like picking up a sword, and sometimes it is just as heavy. Slicing through all kinds of ideas, characters, emotions and building new worlds is a battle. It takes courage to write, and I often find it hard to summon it these days.

Sounds like a lot of battles, I know. It would be if I went looking for them. But like I said, I don’t go looking for them. I deal with them as they come to me. And I don't have to deal with them alone, as I know many warriors training along side me. The best way to be prepared for all of this is to be dedicated to prayer and be good with God. First things first for the prayer warrior princess. Putting on the armor of God is step one. (Ephesians 6:10) Gotta get prayed up.