“We have some unexpected developments, huh? You doing okay?”
he asked.
I instinctively smiled; it’s not hard to smile at my straight-shooting,
young doctor with a sparkle of the boy still left in him. In any other career
he probably would not have already lost so much of that fun-loving nature, but I am sure that being a cancer doctor takes a toll and matures a man
beyond his years.
It was unusual for Dr. Pavelka, my remarkable gynecological
oncologist, to be in the cancer treatment area Thursday, August 24. I don’t
think he popped in on “our” side of things just to see me, but he did have
reason to stop and reassure me. I greeted him, hoping to get some answers from
him. Like most doctors who specialize in certain cancers, I imagine he has way
more patients than he should or wants. That alone accounts for him having two
wonderful nurse practioners who help handle his appointments. I don’t get to
see him for all of my doctors’ appointments, which happen on the first of three
cycles in each round of chemo. I see him about every third one of those. (That
means six scheduled doctors’ appointments, but only two or three with him. They
do work well as a team- the whole place does.)
“We have hiccups,” I replied, with a smile.
His eyebrow danced up. “Hiccups, too?”
“No, silly. Not literally.” I nodded to my right leg which
was propped up in the chemo treatment chair.
Dr. Pavelka chuckled and then turned serious. “Don’t worry about this.
These things happen with chemo patients. We’ve got a plan and the nurse is
talking with your insurance right now. It’s all just a bump in the road.”
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The main wall of the vascular area of St. Elizabeth. Something to think about... |
The word was that two blood clots had developed in my right
leg, one in my calf (where had I felt the tightness) and behind my knee. Back at
the cancer care center, my dear friend Amy was sitting in my chair visiting
with my dad. She had come to experience my chemo treatment with me and support
me. Her presence gave me more peace. After a hug, I took back my chair, and the
nurses resumed my chemo routine. I was surprised by this, but glad we were going ahead with the long day. Visiting with Amy kept my mind off things and I'm glad we could bond over this. I had thought I would be leaving by 2pm and Amy would take me home, but all these developments meant it would be more like 4pm. Amy stayed as long as she could and Dad would see that I got home. I was assured that Dr. Pavelka had a plan to address
the clots and the nurse was already coordinating with my pharmacy and insurance
the best course of action. I took the fact they were going to proceed with my
chemo treatment to mean that things were going to be okay.
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The support and love of friends like Amy mean so much! |
That’s when Dr. Pavelka. came in. It turns out that it was more
difficult to get my insurance to cover the life-saving treatment than to
diagnosis and prescribe the treatment. Finally all parties agreed upon a blood thinning
regime of subcutaneous injections twice daily for six months. Seems like a
long time to me, but it’s what needs to be done. So for the next six months I
am injecting a blood thinner in the fatty area of my stomach (that’s about anywhere on my stomach) twice a day. I get a reminder on my phone at 7:00 am and 7:00 pm
to the tune of “Ode to Joy.” Good thing bikini season is over; I’m covered in
tiny bruises in various states of healing and will be for awhile.
Two weeks later Dr. Pavelka and I were discussing bumps in the road
again during a scheduled visit with him before the start of my second last
round of treatment. (I receive weekly treatment every Thursday. Six rounds with
three treatments each. I am about to begin round five.) I had visited the
cancer care center briefly the day before for my blood draw. Evidently two of
my counts were low, my white cell count and hemoglobin. I had noticed that
things were trending that way, so I wasn’t completely surprised by this news.
Dr. Pavelka wasn’t surprised either. He says that the effect of
chemo is cumulative and that I should expect it to be harder now than in the
beginning. I had noticed that I was getting more lethargic and my resting pulse
was higher. He says that both are directly tied to these lower counts brought
on by my chemo therapy. His treatment plan was to postpone the start of round
five one week to give my bone morrow a chance to recover and to put me on an
iron supplement.
Despite the blood clots and the lower counts I am doing
well. I get very tired quickly, but I donn't experience the sickness we imagine with chemotherapy. I am taking anti-nausea medicines that really work. Still I don't like these hiccups and bumps. Dr. Pavelka admonished me, “You can’t expect everything to go smoothly all the
time.”
Yes, I can, and I do. But I am learning to nod my head and
be flexible. I’m adjusting my brain around these developments. I’m disappointed
that I’ll have to postpone some vacation plans Dan and I had discussed. I’m trying to be kind to
myself, but not be lazy. I’m working part-time (24-30 hours a week), working on
some creative projects when my brain is working, and trying to be more helpful
around the house. I am still largely staying with Mom and Dad, for which I am
greatly thankful. They are a great reason for my peace of mind, and the fact
that I get fed and have clean clothes to wear.
“These are just bumps in the road. We are on the right
course,” assures Dr. Pavelka.
You can do this! You look beautiful!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Dee. I'm taking the opportunity to get creative with my look. I will need to do a blog entry all about that. I really need to spend more time here. Sometimes it just gets hard to wrap my head around words, which I miss.
DeleteLove, hugs, prayers--you do look beautiful.
ReplyDeleteThank you kindly, Sharon. I appreciate you following my blog. I intend to spend more time here. God bless you and yours!
DeleteSending much love and lots of prayers! You are an inspiration to all of us, Dawn!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your support, Michele. Please pass on my regards to our sisters in arms. We need to get together again before the end of the year!
DeleteSweet Dawn (((hugs))) my friend. I know the joy and comfort you feel being "home" with your parents while dealing with health issues. We will never be able to show our true appreciation to them but we can rest assured they already know. Looking back on my own situation I would not change one moment because I wouldn't be the person I am today... it is true God does not give us more than we can handle.
ReplyDeleteMay God bless the parents that have brought us into this world, raised us to be caring loving faith centered women, through there love and devotion to each other, their families and our Lord. Amen
Amen and Amen. Pinkie-5, thank you so much for your support during this time. There is so much that I know you understand. Hugs to you!
Delete"Being lazy". Woman, don't make me come there. You are not being lazy. If your body is tired, let it rest. Your body knows what it needs to heal. You are an incredible person. I know I could not be as strong as you are.
ReplyDeleteI think it is just hard for me to be a good judge of my own level of activity because I am more of a spiritual/intellectual/emotional person and not as active physically by nature. So it is easy for me to be inactive. I know this, so I push myself. But I am learning to cut myself slack. I am backing down from some work and social things. I want to be able to do all of it, but I have to give some of it up. It's part of my lessons on sacrifice. I think you sell yourself short, friend. Situations have a way of calling out of us strength we don't know we have.
DeleteBumps and Hiccups. Reminds me of the true story I heard of a man who loved to snow ski, but lost one leg in an accident. He was told he'd never ski again. Instead of listening to the experts, he had a friend with the right skills fashion a prosthetic leg with a small ski in place of a foot. When asked how, even with that unique prosthetic, he thought he'd be able to ski one-legged, he replied, "That's just a minor inconvenience." And he skied.
ReplyDeleteLike him, your attitude will take you far, bumps and hiccups notwithstanding.
Also, I like the narrative style of this blog entry, including the insights into both your doctor and your friend Amy. You are living a story. Might as well document it that way. After all, you ARE a writer.
Continue to be good to yourself. Take care.
Thank you, D.B. You know I value your comments on the craft as a writer. I too like the approach I took, and will try it again sometime. I felt like I was crafting a piece, which is unusual for me when I write nonfiction. There is definitely a creative aspect to writing nonfiction well-- the angle, tone, literary devices, plot all come into play to elevating a piece toward art.
DeleteNever thought of my life as a subject for the art. Thank you for the concept. Write on!