What Mother's Day Is About

I'm going to say this and some people aren't going to like it. But I say this as a single, non-mom who has always wanted children.

There is something fundamentally wrong with the way most women approach Mother's Day. As a culture we have typically gone about celebrating something really worth celebrating in all the wrong ways. It is right to celebrate Mother's Day, but it isn't right to have it all warped by expectations, heartache, excess emotion, and materialism. Mostly we've been focusing on all the wrong things. It's not about buying a mother's love with a perfect gift. It isn't about calling her long-distance on a single day. It isn't about having breakfast in bed made by your children. It isn't about one-uping your sibling. It isn't about your loss or gain as a mother. It certainly isn't about measuring up or coming up short as a woman.

IT IS NOT ABOUT YOU!

Quit thinking about yourself. Quit expecting accolades. Quit thinking the world should stop and focus on you. Quit falling into self-pity. Quit dwelling on the questions, pains, and joys you have about your motherhood.


It isn't about you.
 
It's all about YOUR MOTHER! She did/does an amazing thing. She gave/gives life to you--selflessly and courageously, laying her life down for you. It's all about HER. Regardless of where your mother is today, whether she is alive or deceased, in your life on a regular basis or far from being present, she is to be honored for that one great gift she gave you (and continues to give)--life. 

My mother gave me life later than most women of her generation but not as late as the women of my generation. She labored in the wee hours of the morning, and has always called me the "first light in your father's and my life." There was no family nearby and my dad was doing research that year. About six months after I was born, Mom had carpal tunnel surgery on both wrists at the same time. I don't know how she did it-- all day with a breast-feeding infant and two bandaged wrists. Two years later the three of us moved to my dad's part of the country and a month later my brother was born. We were her family. Some days she sought refuge in the small laundry area off of the kitchen so that she could escape the bickering kids. When we went to school, Mom went back to teaching- parttime. She was home when we got home-- we were not Latch Key kids. She kissed our booboos and took the burnt piece of toast. She made sure that each of us got where we needed to go. To this day she keeos a calendar on the wall near the kitchen where she records all the family appointments. She prepares my dad's meals, cleans the house, and helps out in the yard. She attends functions with my dad as a deacon's wife, and she treasures her time with her five grandchildren. She's retired now, but from my perspective she is doing what she always has done, and done well-- mother.

She is, of course, a remarkable woman in my eyes. She is intelligent with a background in chemistry. She taught me how beautiful my mind is and not to sell it short. She's always allowed me to be who I am, even though that means not following in her footsteps in hardly anything. (I am not a scientist, a mother, or a wife. I'm not even in education anymore.) Mom did teach me how to love. She taught me that it involves putting others first, especially family. Mom has always put my father, brother and I before herself. I first contemplated Mom's heart when she had a "heart event" several years ago. her mother died of a heart attack. Mom is now more than a decade older than my grandmother, and I worry at times about the strength of her heart. A heart's strength is not in the years it beats but in its deep love. My mother's heart is strong. She celebrates our joys and successes. It breaks her heart to see her children suffer, physically, emotionally, or spiritually. She makes a small house into a large home with the love of her heart.

Mom didn't grow up Catholic, but I've always thought that she imitated my spiritual mother pretty well. I've known the Blessed Mother Mary for a long time, and the older I get the more I need her. (I feel the same about my earthly mother.) Mother Mary is the epitome of Christian motherhood. There is no greater pain and joy than being a mother. Mary sacrificed so very much. She gave to her Son and all of her children in the Church her life in His service. She put her self aside for Christ. She took on a life of great suffering and greater sacrifice. She had to surrender Him to a torturous death. The heartache and grief was so much. And yet it was never about her. It was about her Son. And now it is about all of her children joining her in Heaven. She never focuses on herself, but always points to Jesus.


We ALL have a mother. There is no shame, exclusion, judgement, or disappointment in that. Some grieve the loss of their mother, some hold on to the pain of having a mother who didn't answer the call so well. Many of us desire to be mothers. But let's just for today not think of ourselves, and really honor the ones that have always put themselves last.

This is about you, Mom.

"Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with you. Blessed are you among women and blessed is the fruit of your womb, Jesus."